Au Pairing is a type of cultural exchange for young adults. An Au pair is responsible for a family’s children for a few hours a week, in exchange we are provided with housing, food, language courses, pocket money and the opportunity to live abroad. Au pairing can last up to 2 years, but in Belgium it is limited to only one. In this blog I will share my personal experience as an Au pair, highlight cultural similarities and differences between South Africa and Belgium, and offer essential tips for future Au pairs.

Personal Experience

Before I left Cape Town I was so excited to be moving to Belgium. I knew it would be a time of independence from my family and an adventure. My first few months as an Au pair were a challenge. Largely because I only viewed everything from a negative mindset. The cold weather, language barriers and struggles with loneliness. These are hard adjustments for anyone to face, but they are curable. I have been Au pairing for almost six months now. I am working for a French family in Belgium. Every week I take care of their children for a total of 20 hours. I also started to attend French courses twice a week-Bonjour! The rest of my time I invest in myself and try to reconnect with my family back home. Living in Belgium has had a significant impact on my mindset but also expanded my worldview.

Cultural Similarities & Differences

Weather

Belgium is a unique country, vastly different to our beautiful South Africa. The people are infused with culture and have a true appreciation for enjoying life. One challenge is adjusting to the colder weather, and another is navigating the cultural dynamics between Belgium’s two main linguistic communities. Colder than the UK, Belgian winter brings below zero temperatures, regular snowfall and Cape Town-like wind on random days. From September to March the weather conditions stay unchanged. In South Africa we are blessed with consistent sunshine so we do not experience a lack of Vitamin D regularly. Here in Belgium, it is a true problem. The internet says that vitamin D plays a vital role in human mood regulation and mental health. I quickly realized, after experiencing 4 months of irregular sunshine, that I needed to start taking Vitamin D supplements to keep a balanced mood.

Language & Lifestyle

The Belgians are a warm people with many talents. One of the most impressive ones is being capable of speaking multiple languages- many fluently speak up to three or four. The day-to-day Belgian values, from what I have gathered, are spending time with family and passionately pursuing healthy activities. The most common being cycling and running. When you come to Belgium you might notice a Belgian running during -5°C with snow. As someone from a warmer climate I can’t wrap my head around it, but I admire their dedication. An advantage of cycling everywhere in Brussels is avoiding all the car traffic. This is also common here.

FOOD

Chocolate, Waffles and Frites! Belgian food is diverse and quintessentially delicious. My first mention must be the local chocolate. Just in the city center there are more than 35 chocolate shops. It is like going to a mall in South Africa but all the shops just sell different kinds of chocolate. According to a Leonides article Belgian chocolates were first created by the Neuhaus Chocolatier in the year 1912. The article also mentions the reason why Belgian chocolate is so good: “the chocolate is characterized by a higher chocolate content than in other countries. The minimum level is 43%”. Additionally, I learned that Belgian Chocolate must be 100% cocoa butter by law. Who knew that there are laws for chocolate ?

Belgians also favor their waffles and fries-aka Frites. Belgian Waffles are attributed to a pastry chef named Maurice Vermersch and became popular amongst Brussels street vendors in the 1860’s. Belgian frites, according to an Expatica article originated in the 1680’s in Wallonia as a substitute for the lack of fish when rivers froze over. Whether French or Dutch, frites are a staple in the Belgian diet and are commonly paired with steak. Something interesting to note is that unlike South Africa where meat is eaten daily, many Belgians only eat meat once or twice a week.

Brussels city is the multi-cultural heart of Belgium, but to experience true Belgian culture, you need to travel beyond the city. Even after six months, I still feel like I have so much more to learn.

Advice For Au Pairs

Personal advice:

A person who would be suited to the life of an Au Pair is someone that does not attach their happiness to specific places but can create it wherever they go, is extremely adaptable, knows how to handle a child’s emotional ups and downs, is confident, is good at communicating and resolving conflict.

 It is important to be able to communicate boundaries with your host family and even give feedback about the children.

Practical advice:

1. Create a budget plan that suits your goals. If you are saving for university or for traveling, save at least 50% to 60% of your pocket money each month.
2. Buy winter essentials in Europe. Stores like Uniqlo sell amazing thermals and investing in warm clothing will save you during winter.
3. Do not overspend on brand new clothing, use an app called Vinted to find well priced second-hand items.
4. Bring cold and flu medicines from your home country. It is common to get colds when working with kids and also because of the freezing weather. I learned this the hard way when I caught a bad cold on a trip with my host family and realized that Europe does not have the same over-the-counter medicines that I was used to. I can suggest Rhinofebryl for colds, Multi-iXX for a general vitamin and Brufen for painkillers.
5. Homesickness is real, so set aside time to call people from home. When I miss home, calling a family member really helps brighten my spirit. Also bring your favorite snacks and teas from home. One of my biggest forehead-slap moments is that I did not pack in Rooibos tea when coming to Belgium.
6. Explore the many opportunities that being in Europe offers. Maybe a university degree or even a second year of Au pairing in a different country ?
7. Have a work-life balance. Use your free time to invest in yourself.
8. Make your room feel like home. Bring pictures of family and maybe even invest in some cheap decorations.
9. Plan trips to other countries in advance. Use Booking.com and Eurostar to find the best deals. Belgium’s central location makes European travel easy.
10. Be intentional with friendships. This sounds silly but not everyone from your home city is going to be the right friend for you. If you prefer to have a small circle of friends, that is fine too. You can meet people on Au pair groups or at social events.

Technicalities

Budget and timing

It took me one month to find a host family and sign an Au Pair contract using Au Pair World. Here is a breakdown of my total costs:

• R3700 – Visa Fee
• R500 – Visa Appointment
• R3500 – Visa Assistance(very unnecessary to have)
• R200 – Police Clearance
• R2500 – Apostille of my police clearance
• R650 – Medical Clearance
• R200 – Postage

In total I suggest a budget of  R10 000-R12 000. This could differ depending on the agreement you have with your host family. The entire process will take at least 4 months.

Final Thoughts

Au Pairing can be a wonderful experience, teaching you a lot about yourself, other cultures and potentially open up opportunities for your future. However, it is up to you to use the tools you have been given to shape your future. While Au Pairing is not forever, it is a valuable season in life that lets you travel frequently, learn a new language and build character as you prepare for your future. If you are considering becoming an Au pair, I encourage you to take an informed leap.

 As this blog post comes to an end, I would like to encourage you to reach out and share your own Au Pair experiences! Feel free to ask any questions.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6